No. 11: MD's Newsletter
Don't you know that I'm a human too?
If you’ve ever stumbled across an article about modern parenting, you’ve probably run into discussions around “screen time.” Recently I discovered the related concept of being “screen-free,” or never having your kid in front of any screens. Some parents take this to mean they can’t have their phones out when they’re holding/feeding their baby.
Folks, I am not that parent.
I’ve probably gone online almost every day for the past two-thirds of my life. And I’m supposed to stop now because there is a beautiful, mewling potato of a human in my arms? While I can (and do) spend untold minutes gazing into his deep eyes or marveling at his precious features, I also like media, and I need to do something to keep awake during middle-of-the-night feeds.
In fact, contrary to the screen-free ethos, certain types of Content have kept me going during the stressful moments of new parenthood. So here’s a rundown of what I’ve been listening to, reading & watching over the last few months:
Library books via Kindle: Before Nico arrived, I asked on Instagram if it would be worth getting a Kindle while having a newborn. I received a range of responses — from “You won’t have time to read!” to “You will read so much!” Unsure of what would materialize, I was really stoked to get a Kindle for free via a very friendly Facebook swap group. After connecting it to my library account through Libby, I can read whatever I want, at any time, for free! And while I hoped that the new setup might lead to some big wins in the self-development or literary categories, I just keep pounding through the Elin Hilderbrand catalog. Nantucket is about as opposite as you can get from the desert when it comes to US tourist destinations, but there are so many similarities in the small-town cliques and culture that develop in a hospitality-oriented community. I love love love them, the way you love a checkout aisle candy bar, and I can’t wait for the Netflix series “The Perfect Couple.” But I’m finally going to get around to Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow.
Reddit: After toying around with it for the last couple years, I’ve finally become a Redditor. As Twitter becomes less interesting to me, it’s the best alternative I’ve found — mostly because of how curated you can make your feed by following topical subs. It’s equal parts entertainment, voyeurism, and old-school chat forums. “AITA” was my gateway drug, slowly followed by parenting and animal subs like r/breastfeeding, r/natureisfuckinglit and r/chiweenie.
Stoicism videos: Sometime during the spring of 2020, I started getting into Stoicism. Amid the chaos and uncertainty of that time, I found solace in the ancient, timeless perspective to focus only on what we can control. Since then I've become a big fan of Ryan Holiday’s work at the Daily Stoic, plus YouTubers who explore philosophical concepts like Einzelganger and Philosophies for Life. But this spring, in the face of various crises large and small — no health insurance! MIL drama! Why is the baby looking at me like that! — a quick stroll through Stoic videos or IG accounts centers me and reminds me this too shall pass.
The Eras Tour: I’m on record vouching for Taylor Swift’s songwriting even before the “folklore” era. So the fact that her blockbuster tour coincided with my season of newborn care was a stroke of luck. It’s been something of a ritual during middle-of-the-night feeds on weekends to check Instagram to see what the surprise songs were, which famous collaborators appeared, or what quotable moments will be ruling headlines the next morning. I feel like I’ve been there, even if I don’t have a friendship bracelet to show for it. And yes, that includes following every twist and turn of the Matty Healy developments. Although today my baby cried when I put on “1989” so we might be reaching the end of this indulgence; he is hardly a poptimist.
Spelling Bee: I see your Wordle streaks and raise you Spelling Bee. It is far more creative and intellectually challenging, and it is easier to step away from and pick back up. I never was into The New York Times word games until I was awake at 1:30 a.m. on two hours of sleep trying to stay awake because my baby wouldn’t sleep unless I was holding him. He’s better at that now, thank God, so I haven’t reached Genius in a while, but I’m still making a point to flex my word muscles in a quiet moment.
So there you have it, a smattering of what has stimulated my brain and kept me relatively plugged in. Some might think this is entirely frivolous, that a life transition as major and magnificent as becoming a parent should be all-consuming. But these little moments of entertainment keep me grounded in my lifelong interests and habits. And if I lose that part of me, what kind of parent could I possibly be?
Til next time,